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Showing posts from January, 2021

Why introverts are low maintenance

When my wife and I a few years ago set out to buy a home, we essentially had a few options: Continue renting until the perfect property pops up Buy a condo  Buy a townhouse/single family home (SFH)  We both agreed we'd rather build our own equity than help a landlord improve his, so that eliminating renting as an option. In the end, we opted for a condo for these reasons: With an association that handles all external maintenance, there's far less upkeep required than in a SFH Less upkeep translates into more time for the things we enjoy doing, like reading, writing, and watching documentaries Far less expensive than a SFH (mortgage, property taxes, etc.) Less space means less to clean and fix Less space means less stuff piled up and accumulating dust   Perks like security and water are worked into the HOA fee Here are a few personal reasons why a condo was right for me: Having lived in a two-story duplex through early adulthood, I like having a view from an upper floor  I enjoy

Introvert Inspiration: Yes, you're good enough

Do you occasionally question whether you, as an introvert, are good enough? It can be difficult not to doubt ourselves when we have so many people doubting us.  I'm here to give you an emphatic "yes!" You are good enough. In fact, you're better than those who can't grapple with your being different than the rest of the group.  The world might try to convince you otherwise -- that you need fixing, that you're awkward, that you need to get over your supposed hatred of people.  But there's no rule that says extroverts are better, smarter, or more capable than introverts. There's no law that says extroversion is right and introversion is wrong.  Society -- and that includes everything from corporate culture to competitive events -- have shown a clear preference for those who are outwardly energetic and talkative.  It's really a shame, though, because they're missing out on all the gifts that introverts bring to the table -- from their eye for creat

A sure way introverts can thrive

It isn't easy for introverts to thrive in a world that is constantly trying to get them to change --to become more outgoing, to turn more extroverted.  Take it from me, an introvert who has heard the "you're too quiet line" more times than I can count. Lucky for us, there are others who understand our plight because they've been there themselves.  In order to thrive, we introverts should aim to be around people who accept us for who they are.  But we have to accept ourselves first! The worst thing we can do is cave in to pressure to shed our introversion just to fit in with the crowd. It is tantamount to living a lie, one that is sure to deliver no shortage of discontent over the course of our lives. Now, it's impossible to rid ourselves of all those who take exception to our introverted ways.  Your boss may get on your case for not being outspoken enough, but that doesn't mean you should resign the next day. Nor should you, in one fell swoop, dump every f

After COVID-19, will introverts be seen differently?

Being in quarantine has been a boon for many an introvert. Not only are we not forced to interact with difficult people face-to-face, but less time spent in traffic means more time to indulge our solitary interests, like writing. I'd like to think that introverts will be viewed in a far more favorable light post-pandemic, with others gaining a newfound appreciation for solitude and staying in.  Do I anticipate that this will actually come to fruition?  Nope. I predict that our extrovert-centric society will push rather fiercely to revert back to the way things were.  Many people will expect others to be elated at the thought of again being able to attend sold-out concerts and dine at jam-packed restaurants. And if you show the slightest indication that you'll actually miss being cooped up at home with your book and cat, you'll be subject to no shortage of incredulous looks from a public that feels newly liberated.   That's not to say that, once vaccines are readily avai

When do introverts' best ideas come to them?

Ah, introverts. We just love to marinate ideas in our heads, almost to a fault. But, truth be told, our absolute best ones -- those flashes of keen insight, those moments of stupendous clarity -- occur at certain opportune times. Whether it's a winning advertising concept to pitch to a client or the perfect gift for your husband's birthday, these "Eureka" or "aha" realizations don't come to pass at just anytime, anyplace.  In order for us to generate great ideas, one condition must usually be met. Can you guess what it is? Here's a hint: It's what introverts need in order to recharge our batteries. If you said solitude, alone time, peace and quiet, or something else along those lines, you hit the nail on the head! Solitude affords us the opportunity to reset our minds, which results in a fresh batch of thoughts and ideas.  But it becomes virtually impossible to do this when interrupted by your barking dog, car honking coming from the street, your

Introvert Inspiration: Don't change for others

Growing up, I knew something about me was different. These are the kinds of questions that ran through my mind almost interminably: Why am I not gregarious like my peers? Why don't I seem to get as worked up about stuff? Why don't I enjoy drawing attention to myself like my friends do? Why do others give me such a hard time for being quiet and keeping to myself? If you're an introvert, I'm sure you can relate. Chances are it wasn't until you reached your teens or young adulthood (perhaps even later, as did I) that you discovered there wasn't anything wrong with you.  Society had simply conditioned you and me to believe there was because it is extroverts -- the loud, chatty folks who yearn for the spotlight -- who seem in the majority, and they harbor a healthy distrust of mild-mannered, self-contained individuals.  Take job ads you see online or in the paper. How many times have seen keywords/phrases like these peppered in said listings: Self-starter Quick on yo

Do introverts always want to be alone?

It's a common misconception that introverts want to be left alone all the time. Sure, we're not as prone as extroverts to becoming lonely and irritable in our own company, but that doesn't mean we avoid social interactions like the plague. We like to socialize, only in smaller doses than our more extroverted peers.  Here's how to keep us from exhausting our energy reserves: 1. Allow us small breaks to disconnect every now and then . Don't take offense to our wanting to go for a walk or take a nap. Perhaps we're drained after spending the day in drawn-out meetings.  2. A stampede of people? No, thanks.  Keep it to a small group of no more than 5 to 10 people, if possible. Introverts feel far more in their element when they can engage in one-on-one conversation. For us, more people usually translates to small talk on steroids. Needless to say, there aren't many things we loathe more than mindless chit-chat. 3. Don't block the exits. Heavy noise and commoti

How daily life can bore introverts

Introverts find the everyday grind to be monotonous for one reason: We guard our time fiercely and loathe seeing it wasted, whether in traffic jams, long lines at the grocery store, or mindless chitchat.  Who'd know better about the value of time than the very people who spend so much time contemplating life? Unless we make an active effort to enrich our lives with things that transcend the day-to-day humdrum, we can find ourselves rather bored and glum. Here's the good news: With their exceptionally active minds, introverts have no trouble finding ways to preoccupy themselves.  For starters, many of us are perpetual daydreamers who often get lost in our thoughts. If you happen to see an introvert zoning out, it might be because he or she is ruminating over: - a new idea for a book they're writing - the next destination on their travel list - the motives of a person in their life - the cosmos, philosophy, or some other profound subject But sometimes we need a tad of inspira

Why introverts don't mind lockdowns

Introverts want this pandemic to be over with just as much as anyone else. We look forward to the day that rising infections, mounting deaths, and economic hardship precipitated by this terrible virus will be a thing of the past. But to say we don't appreciate the perks and flexibility of being locked down would be a bald-faced lie.  For starters, introverts are more inclined to stay home than most, as it affords them the opportunity to devour their books, catch up on documentaries, and enjoy other solitary activities. Now that, for the time being, many of us don't have to worry about getting stuck in traffic on our drive to work or waiting in line to get a table at a packed restaurant, it leaves us with more time for enriching activities at home.  Maybe we can finally launch that catering business or write that fiction novel we've been putting off for years.  Now, that isn't to say we aren't working harder than ever. The lines between work and leisure can easily be

Common misconceptions about introverts

If popular opinion is any indication, the following labels are to be ascribed to introverts: Lonely Stuck-up Selfish Antisocial  Withdrawn  Isolated People hater Is this a fair, accurate representation of all introverts? The answer should an emphatic no. While some introverts may possess a couple of these characteristics, one cannot paint them with so broad a brush.  It's like saying that all cheerleaders are airheads. Or that all sports guys are jocks. These are pervasive stereotypes that need to be put to bed!  Sure, introverts might turn down invitations from time to time. If we do make it to the party, you may see us leave early. And somewhere in between, we might excuse ourselves to get some fresh air, smoke a cigarette, or make a phone call. We don't do it to be difficult, or because we're self-absorbed. It isn't that we loathe people.  It's that our battery life is finite.  Large crowds and endless chatter can leave us utterly drained. We're just not equi

Introvert Insight: Who coined the term "introvert"?

Many people know of introversion , but they don't have the foggiest idea who came up with the word. Don't feel bad; I didn't know myself until recently. Want to take a stab at it? Here's a hint: It was not Sigmund Freud, though that would make a logical guess. Introversion , the tendency to become preoccupied with one's own thoughts and feelings rather than external stimuli, was popularized by none other than Carl Jung, the Swiss psychoanalyst and psychiatrist who also coined the terms collective unconscious and analytical psychology. Unlike extroverts, who become energized while in the presence of large numbers of people, introverts are inward-oriented. They gain energy from reflection and lose energy in noisy social gatherings.  This in no way implies introverts are misanthropic loners, a common misconception. Misanthropes are those who, put simply, would rather stick a fork in their eye than have to deal with people. They loathe humankind with every fiber in thei

Introverts can often be described as this

Do you love learning for its own sake?  Do you have a penchant for looking up the definitions of unfamiliar words you come across?  Do you enjoy going to museums -- not only to check out neat exhibits, but to read the descriptions  that accompany them? Does a day spent writing in a library or coffee shop sound ideal to you? While others watch reality TV, do you immerse yourself in educational documentaries?  Do you like traveling to cities mainly to soak up history and culture? If you answered "yes" to one or more of the above (as I proudly do), you're likely an autodidact, which simply means you're self-taught. You learn things on your own just for the sheer pleasure of learning.  Granted, an autodidact can still be college-educated, but once they have that diploma in hand, he or she refuses to give up his pursuit of learning.  When I graduated from college, I felt a sudden void in my life. No longer forced to read books or write papers, my intellectually curious sel

So, what exactly is an introvert?

The fact you landed on Introvert Pride, my   recently launched online hub for introverts the world over, likely means one of the following: You stumbled upon the topic of introversion at some point and want to explore it in depth, including whether you, your partner, or someone else you know fits the criteria. You've already determined you are indeed an introvert and want to learn tips for navigating what is really an extrovert-friendly world. Perhaps you're doing a project or research paper for a psychology course that calls for information on introversion .  Whatever your reasons for being here, I am delighted you've joined us! As I mentioned in my initial post, I set out to create a page where introverts  can feel valued and accepted for who they are -- where they feel no need to apologize for their mild-mannered personality, preference for gathering their thoughts before speaking, desire for solitude, or bookish tendencies.  I wish I'd had a site like this at my di

Happy New Year -- and welcome to Introvert Pride!

Great news: You've arrived at the newly launched home for introverts on the web -- at the start of a new year, no less! My name is Jeff. I'm a writer by trade, and I've been an introvert my entire life. That's right. Like many of you fellow introverts , I remember questioning as far back as grade school whether something was wrong with me in that I wasn't as talkative, sociable, or energetic as my peers. And the fact many of them made fun of me for my quiet, low-key demeanor certainly didn't aid my cause. But as I grew older and learned more about introversion , I came to realize I wasn't weird, antisocial, or deserving of any other labels foisted upon me. I was just different in my internal wiring.  Introspective and quiet? Check. A tendency to think through what I'm going to say before opening my mouth? Yep. A need for solitude in order to recharge my batteries following heavy social interaction? Absolutely. A deep interest in solitary pursuits, part