Skip to main content

Why there are more closeted introverts than you think

closeted introvert

If you're an introvert, there is a good chance you've been perusing the posts on this blog for quite a while. 

Maybe you're looking to validate whether you are truly an introvert, or you've already checked that off your list and are now seeking tips for breaking the news to the world. I sincerely hope, however, that you're not so much as entertaining the idea of ridding yourself of your introversion

It's no secret that the world seems to favor extroverts, especially here in the United States. From job listings that stress "teamwork skills" to open workspaces (whether they make a furious return after the pandemic is anyone's guess), people tend to be less suspicious of gregarious, outspoken types. 

Yet, you'd be surprised at just how many people want to come out of the introvert closet. Their reasons for not doing so are the subject of this post.

Introverts have been stigmatized as lonely, self-absorbed, or disinterested, so it's no wonder many wish to keep it under wraps. What folks don't realize is that we don't loathe people -- we simply need occasional alone time in order to recharge our batteries. It's nothing personal. 

So intent are some people on hiding their introversion that they carry on as extroverts in their day-to-day lives -- that is, of course, until they can finally go home and unwind. 

It's time introverts quit apologizing for the very way they're wired. Introversion isn't a flaw, it's not a condition that needs correcting. 

Introverts, for their part, can make the case that extroverts need to tone it down and attach to them labels like "blabbermouth" or "insolent."

Would we really stoop so low? Of course not. So others shouldn't do it to us either.

Neither personality type is right or wrong per se. They simply differ in terms of the orientation of one's energy. For introverts, it's inward; for extroverts, it's outward. 

If anything, introverts should covet the gifts with which we're endowed:

  • A penchant for deep introspection 
  • The ability to read people well
  • The capacity to keep our mouths shut until we've collected our thoughts
  • The courtesy to allow others to speak without interrupting 
  • A sharp eye for detail and thoroughness
It's not to say that extroverts don't possess any of the above. But, in general, introverts tend to avoid the spotlight, letting their work and deeds do more of the talking. 

To recap, many introverts keep up a fa├žade so as to win others' approval. But this is truly a mistake.

While I'm all for improving one's social skills, if we lose our sense of self, what really do we have left? Don't lead the kind of life you think you're supposed to live, but the one that brings out your most genuine self. Rest assured there are extroverts aplenty in the world as it is, and the only person whose validation really matters is your own. 

Always be yourself!


Popular posts from this blog

Introverts, find your voice -- and let it be heard!

Introverts are, by their very nature, unassuming.  The last thing we want to do is draw attention to ourselves, whether it be promoting our accomplishments at work in hopes of landing a promotion, talking up our best traits on a blind date, or speaking up when on the receiving end of someone's unseemly behavior. But finding our inner voice is imperative. We must never let anyone -- and that includes ourselves -- silence it. It doesn't mean you have to turn surly, treating others like they're beneath you.  But you should never let yourself become anyone's doormat either. You're your own chief advocate. If you don't stand up for yourself, no one will.  Never feel too embarrassed or guilty to speak honestly and respectfully in support of your goals, values, and beliefs.  I'm not saying you need to become a masterful public speaker, or that you should pretend to be a Know-It-All.  Instead, what I'm saying is never to let anyone suppress your voice. You have

Do introverts always want to be alone?

It's a common misconception that introverts want to be left alone all the time. Sure, we're not as prone as extroverts to becoming lonely and irritable in our own company, but that doesn't mean we avoid social interactions like the plague. We like to socialize, only in smaller doses than our more extroverted peers.  Here's how to keep us from exhausting our energy reserves: 1. Allow us small breaks to disconnect every now and then . Don't take offense to our wanting to go for a walk or take a nap. Perhaps we're drained after spending the day in drawn-out meetings.  2. A stampede of people? No, thanks.  Keep it to a small group of no more than 5 to 10 people, if possible. Introverts feel far more in their element when they can engage in one-on-one conversation. For us, more people usually translates to small talk on steroids. Needless to say, there aren't many things we loathe more than mindless chit-chat. 3. Don't block the exits. Heavy noise and commoti

My bumpy road to discovering I am an introvert

From an early age, I knew there was something about me -- my personality, my temperament -- that differentiated me from my peers. I just didn't know what it was. I sensed I was more retiring, less hungry for attention, and more at ease in solitude than most people.  Now that I'm an adult and comfortable in my introversion, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm proud of my uniqueness, and every introvert on this page ought to be as well.  That isn't to say the road to self-awareness has been an easy one.  Whether at school or work, I've lost count of the number of people over the years who've either questioned or criticized my quiet, unassuming disposition.  In the workplace, supervisors and co-workers have pulled no punches with their biting sarcasm, saying things like "Hey, keep it down over here. You're too loud!" For whatever reason, it makes some folks uneasy when there's someone at work who keeps to themselves. They might suspect they&