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Showing posts from September, 2021

Why introverts get down on themselves

There is no question that introverts can tend toward melancholy.  Perhaps this shouldn't come as a surprise given that, because of our calm, introspective demeanor, we're frequently viewed as "inferior" to our more extroverted counterparts.  Here are a few instances where introverts can plunge into despondency: - Our self-esteem can take a hit when we don't succeed at something, whether it's landing a promotion or acing an exam  - We can feel immense pressure to change when scolded for being too quiet, especially if it leads to our not being invited to social functions or acknowledged for our efforts  - Because of our tendency to keep to ourselves, others may attach to us hurtful labels like "weirdo" or "snob" Despite our need for solitude, introverts still enjoy spending time with loved ones. We still yearn to establish a human connection, albeit in small doses.  That's why being excluded can wreak havoc on us emotionally and psycholog

How are introverts' financial habits?

Do introverts tend to be conservative with their spending, or do they burn through cash with total abandon? Though it varies by person, introverts are generally not huge spenders. I certainly am not.  We typically value experiences over material stuff.  Yes, certain experiences can cost an awful lot of money (e.g., European vacations). But introverts don't need to travel that far and wide in order to enjoy themselves.  Whether it's going to dinner with close friends; spending the afternoon at a local museum, library, or art gallery; we value enriching experiences more than we do physical possessions.  And the stuff introverts like me might spend more on tends to be relatively inexpensive, like books or coffee.  Again, it isn't to say there are no spendthrifts on Team Introvert. But they're not as commonplace as those who relish going out and forking over untold sums of money at nightclubs, casinos, and other venues. Remember, introverts tend to be home bodies. Our prefe

Introverts, stand up to your inner critic!

You know that negative voice inside of you that tells you you're not good enough from time to time? The one that attempts to remind you of your deficiencies while glossing over your strengths? The voice that says you ought not to take risks because you will surely fail? We've all been there. It can be like being forced to sit through a terrible commercial or song because your remote control has ceased functioning.  What is an introvert to do when these negative thoughts arise? Here are some valuable strategies for keeping them in check: 1. Silence such thoughts by exclaiming "I'm not listening to you!" and instead focusing on the attributes that make you a wonderful human-being: intelligence, empathy, a hard work ethic, humility, decency, and so on. 2. Give your inner critic a name to reduce its potency ("Uh oh, here comes Greg the Grouch again"). Doing so will give the feeling of being one step ahead so that you may stop the thoughts in their tracks.  3

Introverts, find your voice -- and let it be heard!

Introverts are, by their very nature, unassuming.  The last thing we want to do is draw attention to ourselves, whether it be promoting our accomplishments at work in hopes of landing a promotion, talking up our best traits on a blind date, or speaking up when on the receiving end of someone's unseemly behavior. But finding our inner voice is imperative. We must never let anyone -- and that includes ourselves -- silence it. It doesn't mean you have to turn surly, treating others like they're beneath you.  But you should never let yourself become anyone's doormat either. You're your own chief advocate. If you don't stand up for yourself, no one will.  Never feel too embarrassed or guilty to speak honestly and respectfully in support of your goals, values, and beliefs.  I'm not saying you need to become a masterful public speaker, or that you should pretend to be a Know-It-All.  Instead, what I'm saying is never to let anyone suppress your voice. You have

Why introverts value a mentally rich life

Not all intellectuals are introverts, but I would wager that all introverts are in fact intellectuals.  I'll use myself as an example. If I'm not learning something new, I'm probably bored out of my mind.  And if a book, TV, or my phone aren't readily accessible -- to consume documentaries and other educational content, of course -- then I have no choice but to depend on my thoughts to pass the time.  Such thoughts might encompass: How the history or psychology book I'm currently reading might end, or what tome from my bookshelf I'll grab next  How the pandemic might factor into consumer spending patterns going forward How many/which people have lived in my condo since the property was built  Why certain people in my orbit behave the way they do  Because introverts are at their best when fueled with knowledge, it's no wonder we delve deeply into subjects about which we're passionate -- whether it be architecture, nature, philosophy, or literature.  On th

What introverts should do when labeled stuck-up or weird

When someone deems you rude, weird, or stuck-up because of your introversion, what should you do? Bask in and double down on your introversion, of course! Don't even entertain the idea of changing to appease anyone, whether it be a friend, co-worker, or relative.  People can call you anything they wish, but you know who you are deep inside. As long as you value your introversion, that's what ultimately matters.  Most people don't comprehend what introversion is, even after ill-fated attempts to enlighten them.  In all likelihood, you've tried to explain that introversion has to do with the way we draw energy (inward, of course). Still, they carry on believing whatever they want to believe -- that we're self-centered, socially inept, and so on -- because it requires fewer mental resources. When in doubt, people would simply rather pass judgment.  No amount of explanation will get through to some of these narrow-minded folks.  They simply can't fathom an individua

Introverts do this and should never apologize for it

Ask any introvert to name one thing they're good at and chances are they will say "sitting in silence." There is no denying it: Introverts can seem out of sorts in the loud, fast-paced world in which we live.  With so many things vying for our attention -- from advertisements to text messages to social media alerts -- it can feel like an all-out assault on the senses. And, yet, introverts know exactly what it takes to replenish their energy reserves: utter silence.  Taking a deep breath and finding refuge in solitude -- whether at the park, library, or in our own car -- is what we do best (or at least one of the things we have a knack for). When we pause, it allows us to reset and consider our options, our possibilities. This allows us to strengthen ties with others -- from partners to co-workers -- and, more importantly, with ourselves.  Because here's the thing: If introverts don't get their much-needed alone time, they'll be disinclined to interact with oth